Friday, 23 November 2012

Seven steps to ditching shyness and making things sizzle

Sizzling Step No.1: Jump out of your comfort zone –

At the heart of sexual shyness is insecurity and to fight this prove you can tackle challenges.

Do something out of your comfort zone, e.g., a salsa dancing or even a lap-dancing class. As you accomplish this goal tell yourself daily how strong you're getting inside.

Put what you've done to good use like creating a fantasy scenario around it - you're a lap dancer and he's a handsome client that asks you for "extras".

Read more of the sizzling steps...

Sizzling Step No.2: Sexy names have a surprising effect –

Just as actors say that playing a role takes them out of themselves, simply giving each other sexy nicknames means you can play-up to those names.

It's easy to lose yourself - and your shyness - when you're calling yourself "Naughty Chick" or "Captain Sex"!

Sizzling Step No.3: Dump the damaging sex myths –

The shyest and most inhibited in the bedroom are those most affected by the myths they've been told.

You hear work-makes talking about having multiple orgasms, you've seen porn and think how on earth can I be like that, and you believe your body has to be perfect or else no one will fancy you.

Dump each of these damaging myths - everyone else isn’t swinging from chandeliers, porn stars are pretending, and no one's body is perfect!

Sizzling Step No.4: Lost in foreplay -

Many who feel inhibited think about the ‘end goal’ - when full sex starts.

Instead, focus on that first kiss - simply enjoy this new person’s warm mouth. Spend loads of time kissing them gently.

When foreplay moves on to caressing simply ‘feel’ the pleasurable sensations. Take your time and let them know how lovely it is with lots of sighs and moans.

Sizzling Step No.5: Go with the moment –

If you’re cuddling up, e.g., watching a film or listening to music and you feel a tingle of excitement make a move. Not in half an hour, not that evening, but right then!

Learning to go with the flow of the moment boosts your confidence. It shows you're ‘reading’ your partner's desire and that's something to be proud of... and take advantage of.

Sizzling Step No.6: Devise your own ‘signature’ sex technique -

Is there one thing you do quite well? Maybe you're good at kissing? To help you lose shyness up-your-game with your kissing technique.

For instance, if you're good at using your tongue and lips sensually as you kiss, apply these techniques in oral sex. Your partner will gasp with pleasure as you surprise them with your new confidence.

Sizzling Step No.7: Ask, ask, and ask again -

Just as you need to learn to say what you want, you also must get the courage to ask what they want.

This immediately takes the spotlight off you and any shyness you still feel. You're now focused on them and their answer - listen to them and go for it.

Academy Rule No. 36: Whether or not you suspect your partner is shy you should always give them compliments and let them know what feels good.

Your Hot Homework:

Nothing helps you dump inhibitions more quickly than allowing yourself to get a bit more adventurous.

Let's say your partner likes it if you squeeze their bottom during foreplay or full sex. Why not use a sex toy instead and swirl it over their bottom through lots of lubricant to give them pleasurable sensations.

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